iMiss My Dad
by daleksandjeggings
Summary: This was inspired after Sam's line in iParty With Victorious. She mentioned her dad for the first time and it made me go away and write this. Please Read And Review. Rated T because i'm paranoid, but could be a K
1. Chapter 1

This is probably one of lots of stories about this sort of thing, but hey, I wanted to write one, so I did. This is inspired from iParty with Victorious, when Sam said that her dad told her mom he was coming back.

As much as I love to dream about owning iCarly, it will never happen :( if I did own it, Seddie would have happened AGES ago.

Sam never mentioned her dad. Maybe she was ashamed about him. Maybe it was because she didn't know whether he was dead or alive. Maybe because she wanted to pretend she didn't care.

But she did care. She just wasn't going to let anyone know that.

She had no idea what drove him to leave. It seemed like no reason at all. But it made her lie awake in her bed every birthday, wondering if he was thinking about her, did he ever see her on iCarly, what he was doing at that moment.

She made her mind stay away from the memories. Memories of the week that she didn't want to remember. But sometimes they would leak into her mind, and she would stop eating, or arguing with Freddie, or whatever it was she would have been doing at the time, and her friends would look at her.

They didn't have a clue. They had no idea where her dad was, but they assumed that she saw him. So what if they'd never met him, or seen him at her house. They knew nothing about the week Sam had gone through when she was 9.

SAM IS 9 YEARS OLD.

Sunday

David Puckett opened the door to his house and went inside, immediately his daughters, Samantha and Melanie, ran down the hall towards him, he braced himself as they pounced on him and hugged him.

He hugged his daughters back, as they fought for his attention, he smiled at them.

"It's not fair that you have to work on weekends" said Samantha.

"We never get to see you" said Melanie.

"You're seeing me now" he said, putting them back on the ground. "Is your mom in the kitchen?"

"Yeah, she's making dinner" they said, as they ran, giggling down the hall, David right behind them.

"Hey" he said to his wife, kissing her on the neck.

"EWW" chorused the twins. Their parents looked at them, so they ran off to their bedroom, and collapsed on the bed laughing. They were happy.

Monday

"I'll have to go out tonight, after the girls are in bed" said David over dinner.

"Your job is taking advantage of you, tell them you need to be with your family" said Pam.

"It'll only be for a couple of hours. I'll come back after woods" He replied to Pam, taking his plate over to the sink. "Have you done your homework?" he asked his daughters.

Melanie nodded, Samantha hesitated. "Sam, go and do it" he said. "Do you need any help?" she nodded. "OK, you go make a start; I'll come and help you in a minute"

Samantha jumped down from the table. She didn't really need help, but she liked being with her dad, even if it meant doing Math homework.

Later that night, David quietly pushed open the door to Sam and Melanie's bedroom. He went over to the bed nearest to the door, where Melanie was asleep.

He Bent down over her, and kissed her head as she slept, peacefully. "Bye, honey, I love you" He said, straightening out the duvet, and trying not to let his voice break.

He walked over to Samantha's bed, going through the same ritual he had just done with Melanie. Samantha stirred.

"Daddy, are you going out" she whispered, sleepily.

He nodded in the dark.

"When will you be back?"

"Not too long" he whispered.

She nodded, closing her eyes again.

"I love you Sam" he told her.

"Love you…" and she was asleep.

David walked out of the house without a backward glance.

Sam always wonders if he knew that would be the last time they saw each over.

Tuesday

Samantha woke up, as always, only this time David wasn't there to wake her up for school. She looked at the clock. It was time to get up.

"Mel" she said, shaking her twin sister. Melanie sat up, rubbing her eyes. "Dad didn't wake us up, come on"

When they were dressed, they went to the kitchen for their breakfast. Their dad wasn't sitting at the table eating Fibre Nuts, like he should have been. Instead their mom was there, looking like she hadn't gotten much sleep.

"Mommy" said Melanie. "Where's Daddy?"

Pam blinked, "Oh, sorry, your dad. Um he went to work early"

Samantha groaned "he's always at work"

Pam nodded shiftily "now eat your breakfast, or we're going to be late.

"Will he be back when we get back from school?"

"Probably not" said Pam.

And he wasn't.

"Samantha" Melanie whispered, that night, when they were meant to be asleep.

"Yeah"

"When do you think dad is coming home?"

Sam turned over to face her sister "Soon, he said he would be back" she whispered.

Melanie nodded.

Wednesday

Samantha and Melanie looked for their mom when they came out from school, they waited but she wasn't there.

"I don't think she's coming" said Samantha.

"What do we do?" asked Melanie, panic clear in her voice.

"Easy" said Samantha. "We walk" she looked at Melanie's face "don't worry, I know the way, come on"

It wasn't the journey home that was hard. The hard part was when they got home. They knew from the second they opened the door that their dad wasn't home, they also knew that something was wrong.

They walked into the living room. Pam was sitting on the couch, staring into space, tears leaking out of her eyes. This scared the girls; Melanie turned and ran into her bedroom. Samantha stayed rooted to the spot.

After a short hesitation, she wrapped her skinny arms around her mom, wanting to be hugged back, to be reassured that everything would be okay. Pam pushed her daughter away, not in the mood. She saw the hurt and tears in Samantha's eyes, she saw her turn and run off. She wondered why everyone in her life ran from her; she wanted to know what she was doing wrong.

Thursday

Every time Samantha and Melanie looked out of the window and saw a man, their hearts jumped. They wanted him to come back, to lift the dark cloud that had descended since his departure. They wanted him to make their mom better again.

They had seen the bottles that day. Even at the age of 9, the twins could tell that these bottles were bad; they only saw one, every year at Christmas, but never so many. Pam was crying, reaching for the bottles, one after the other. They could tell pretty quickly that they should leave. So they had taken to their bedroom, staring out of the window.

They both jumped, as another man passed, hope taking over them, but it wasn't him. They slumped down again, defeated.

"Don't worry" said Sam. "He said he'd be back. Why would he lie? It's just taking him a while."

"Then why is mommy so sad?" asked Melanie.

"Because she misses him, don't you miss him?"

Melanie nodded.

"It won't be long now"

Friday

Samantha woke up, it was late at night, but she had heard her mom talking to someone. She heard her use her dad's name. She smiled. She knew he'd be back.

She got out of bed and crept down the hallway in her pyjamas. She put her head around the door. Her dad wasn't there; instead her mom was on the phone. She was angry.

"So that's it then, you're not even going to pay for your daughters" Pam growled into the phone. "Don't talk to me like that, you make me sick. Don't think you can come back on their Birthday, they deserve better than you"

Pam listened for a moment, and then threw the phone to the floor. She stormed out of the room, not even noticing Samantha on the floor by the door.

After Samantha had heard her mom's door shut she ran to the phone, her heart hammering.

"Pam?" said her dad, on the phone.

"Daddy!"

"Sam, what are you doing up?"

"Daddy, when are you coming home?"

There was a silence.

"Daddy?"

David hang up the phone. She would never hear her father's voice again. Samantha ran back to her bedroom and lay on her bed. She cried into the pillow for hours, wishing her tears would wash away her pain and her fear.

Saturday

Samantha knew she had to build a wall around herself. She knew, after last night, that she never wanted to cry again. She had to pretend she didn't care, to avoid the questions from the kids at school. She didn't want to be weak. She wanted to be strong like her dad.

Melanie walked into the bedroom "Samantha, can I talk to you?"

Samantha turned around "only if you call me Sam"

Today, Samantha is hidden from the world, under the girl who doesn't care, the girl who annoys others, so she can forget her own pain. The girl who hides her feelings.

Melanie left, she went to a boarding school. Sam didn't want her to leave. Melanie said Sam should support her. Instead Sam started to hate her, because she left Sam to deal with the pain alone. Melanie got away from it.

"When he gave me this charm bracelet, he said it was one of a kind, like me" said Carly, going on about her new boyfriend.

"So what, my dad told my mom he was coming back" said Sam, then she winced, realising what she had said. Everyone looked at her, even Spencer looked up from his massage. "Moving on…" said Sam quickly.

She knew Carly would ask her about it later, trying to get her to talk. But Sam would just say she didn't care.

But she did. And, even after everything, there was still something inside her that hoped David Puckett would walk through the door.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: thank you for everyone who reviewed, this chapter won't be as good as the last one. Thank you to hankie212 for the help with this plot.

There will be a tiny bit of Seddie at the end of this chapter. I know this chapter should have been up ages ago. Sorry.

I DON'T OWN iCARLY :(

"Sam" Sam heard Carly's voice from behind the fridge door.

"Sup?" said Sam, her head coming into view.

"You do realise that there is no way Steven could be cheating on me"

"Don't count on it kid" said Sam.

"Why would he do that to me, though?" said Carly.

"Because, boyfriends are a waste of time, I mean look at Jonah"

"Do you think your dad was a waste of time?" asked Carly, knowing she was asking a delicate question.

"I don't wanna talk about it" said Sam, taking some ham, and sitting down at the table.

"Really" said Carly "because I don't think it's something you can avoid forever"

Sam stood up "is that because you want a good story? My life isn't a soap opera Carly, just because you're Little Miss Perfect doesn't mean everyone else is"

"My dad left too, you know" said Carly, feeling kinda bad.

"Come on Carly, you know that's completely different. Your dad only left so he could make money for you, he still loves you, you hear from him regularly. Mine just walked out of the door. I didn't know why. I thought he was coming back, I waited for months. He always said he had to work extra hours, I didn't realise that he never went to the office. Mom didn't realise until he was gone. Carly, he just left; because his life wasn't exiting enough, he wanted another chance. He found another women and NEVER CAME BACK"

Sam saw the look Carly was giving her; she closed her eyes and took a breath. "Sorry" she said.

"Sam, why didn't you tell me earlier?"

"Because I didn't know what you'd think of me. Because I don't want to believe it's real" said Sam.

"Sam, I wouldn't have thought of you any differently" said Carly, gently.

"I know" said Sam, her voice cracking slightly at the end. Carly hugged her friend.

"You can cry if you want. I won't tell anyone" she whispered.

Sam shook her head. Knowing that if she cried, she wouldn't be able to stop. She could already feel the tears seeping through the cracks in the wall she had built around herself.

Sam heard Freddie come down the stairs. She quickly went back to the ham she had begun eating, although for once in her life she didn't really feel like eating it. Her mind was still elsewhere. She hadn't thought about it properly for ages, and now it was all racing through her head.

"I've gotta go home now" she said.

"Sam, you're supposed to be staying the night, were going to LA tomorrow" Sam was already out of the door.

"Is she OK" said Freddie, he had noticed that he had become more concerned about Sam; he had felt different towards her.

"I think she'll be alright" said Carly, although she was slightly uncertain.

"I'm gonna go after her" said Freddie, quickly wondering what had made him say that, but he went after her all the same.

Sam collapsed onto her bed, wiping her eyes. Why should she cry over him? It was 8 years ago.

She sat up, sighing, as she heard the doorbell. She wondered whether she should leave it. But she dragged herself up and answered it.

"What do you want, Freddifer?" she asked, although, for some reason, part of her was happy he had come.

"I was, Erm, just going to make sure you were OK"

"Really, well I'm fine, so you can go back to Carly"

"I don't wanna go back to Carly, especially not until I know you mean that"

"I AM FINE" she repeated.

"Really?" he said.

She hated him when he acted like this.

"Yeah" she said, although her voice cracked slightly at the end. Why was she so emotional today? Just because she'd been thinking about her dad a lot more than usual.

Freddie placed his foot on the door, so she couldn't close it on him. "Sam" his voice was softer than usual. "You do realise that you are not the only person in the world who has had this, or similar, happen to them"

"I know I'm not the only one, but it's not something that happens all the time"

"It happens more than you think Sam" he told her.

"Alright Benson, name one person I know that has gone through anything even slightly similar"

Freddie looked her in the eyes. She had never noticed how amazing his eyes were. "It happened to me" he said, quietly.

She stepped aside, and he walked into her house, trying, as he had often done with his own, to imagine a briefcase in the hallway, men's shoes on the shoe rack.

Sam sat down on the couch. He sat next to her.

"You're dad left you?" he nodded.

"Why else do you think I never talk about him?"

"I never really thought about it, what happened to him?"

Freddie took a breath in; you could tell this wasn't something he wanted to go back to. Sam realised they had a lot in common.

AN: sorry to end it there, but I will update again soon. I know this chapter isn't very good, and I am sorry that the characters are different to how they are in the show, but if I didn't write it like that, then I wouldn't have a story.


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